Friday, October 3, 2008

This might help me start blogging again...

I am pregnant!!! Even just typing the words still seems a little unreal. I know it's true, three pregnancy tests, unexplainable degrees of tiredness, waves of nausea and then a little heartbeat on a sonogram, but even still there are moments it still hits like a ton of bricks. What I am going to be a mom ???? The due date is May 27th. It is such a blessing of timing...I got pregnant before turning 30 (by two weeks), I will not be showing by Brian's wedding in November, I will have the baby before Kristen leaves for college next September, and I won't have to be huge during a Dallas summer!!

Being pregnant is an overnight invitation to becoming less selfish, being more mindful of others, and feeling very humbled. One day I was just me and then after a three minute waiting period I was responsible for someone else. This bit is still a little overwhelming but I have grasped it best by just saying, "Thank you, God!" I can't figure this thing out, I can't know what is going to happen, I can't judge, expect or plan every bit of my life anymore the same way. I don't know what happened exactly - it just did. My heart is so much more thankful, so much more tender, and I love everything I have more than ever. The crappy thing is I am too tired a lot of time to express this anymore than to just feel it in my heart. I have peace, I have hope, I have so much adoration for Jerod, and I tremble in joy and wonder at the future because I know it will be so abundant in God's blessings and plan!