Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Big Night

There are not really words enough to explain everything that went on Sunday night....

Major thoughts resulting from the weekend:
**Why do we worry? Why do we let our bodies physically suffer from the stress of things that we have no control over? - So there were suppose to be two sound guys - one in the house and one on stage - well the main guy was flying in and was scheduled to arrive at the theatre by 3:30ish...well at about 5:30 sound check started without him. And this was the scariest sound check ever, the drums were so loud it hurt, I could not hear Jerod at all, and I freaked out. I finally realized that there was nothing I could do at that point and if I stayed I would probably have a heart attack and ruin the whole night, so I opted to go next door to a restaurant and see if I knew anyone there...thank God - I did...and so I spent a while over there. Sound check went late so doors opened late BUT let me tell you what happened next.

**We need to ask God - I wonder how much we don't receive because we just don't ask Him...
Jerod and I asked for some very specific, nearly impossible things that night - and God answered.

**My husband is gifted and the gift is from above - Jerod is talented, but God has given him a lot of supernatural things that happen when he performs that aren't of Jerod and I want to know more about what God says about this part of that night. Makes me want to know what my God given gift is that when I am in the middle of obedience with it, what supernaturally comes out that isn't of me. Do we all have that thing somewhere in our being to be found?

**We have the most incredible friends and family ... So I had the wonderful job of standing in the lobby and greeting people. Let me tell you there is something so exciting and overwhelming about standing in a glass front lobby and looking out across a parking lot and seeing people just flood in - people from all over the place, people that I was so incredibly touched that were there to support us and be a part of the excitement. I think I speak for both Jerod and I when I say the people made that night so special. There were aproximately 350 people there - WOW.

**Jerod was flawless all night...
He opened the concert with Asking (as soon as this song started I lost it - there it was the first note...perfect...the sound...perfect...I could hear Jerod!!!! All that crazy worry for nothing-God was in control and I knew I needed to just hold on, relax, and enjoy) Then he did a gospel/ r&b set, then he played two songs at the piano by himself (my song and It Is Well) which he played perfect, after that there was a pop medley of songs where the kids there were all dancing down front (so fun), and then ended with a few more of his songs and finally Driven. When the next to last song started I turned to my friend, Angel and started to tear up again because it was almost over. The concert went by so fast. But there it was- the night was everything we had hoped for plus a lot more...

**I don't really know what to think still...there were a lot of things that were so wonderful that happened that night, but I have to honestly say that life didn't feel as different afterwards as I thought it would. I think one thing God is wanting to tell my heart from this night is to stop thinking that only one thing can happen at a time. This music thing - it is going to be a part of life forever, and I do believe the night definitely planted a deeper sense of peace and confidence in this fact, but it also is not something that we can fully develop before moving on in other life goals and desires...the greatest thing to realize about music is that it won't ever be completely perfect and finished nor the work around it. There is probably a lot more to say here but I am not ready to say anymore yet...still waiting.

So here is what you are really waiting for ... THE PICTURES!!! Enjoy and if I missed any major point of the evening post your questions and I will be sure to respond...also if you haven't already check out the website

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Sunday night was absolutely wonderful...I will give a full update of it tomorrow when I have pictures...
Jerod's website is now up -
CD's are available on the website

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. The whole night was an incredible blessing and he was flawless.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

4 days...

It is only four days now until the big day and my stomach is here to testify. When I get excited and anxious my stomach takes the brunt...the butterflies move in and food doesn't want to settle. Come Sunday night at about 10 I will be starving.

This week has gone by really fast thus far and really smoothly - praise God. Sunday night is going to be amazing - I have no doubts that Jerod will present an amazing performance and will steal the hearts of all there. I have no doubts that God will show up and wow us all with His faithfulness and as He unfolds more purpose behind this call. He has already shown us this week how this is going to be the one of the biggest experiences of our life to date where the culmination of all of both of our worlds will be in one room together. There will be more opportunity in that room at one time than Jerod and I have ever been able or willing to put together on our own and I am hoping and praying that God will do something enormous with that whether it be for us to see that night or if it something that happens that we never know about. I pray for a belief in the impossible and I pray for a hope in the unseen to be the feeling left with people that night. I desire for people to want more and to believe God wants more for them. This is hard and this is my own prayer- God - please make mine and Jerod's life a testimony that you are faithful, you are good, you never leave us alone and that it is worth waiting on your ways that are bigger and greater that our ways, please let us be patient to wait for your mind and thoughts about things rather than relying and limiting ourselves to our thoughts.

I want to share a song with you guys...this song is the song that Jerod wrote for me about a year ago...let me give you a bit of background. Over the past few years I have really struggled with being patient - I have worked a job that I don't love - I don't hate it all the time but I don't always like it. We have sacrificed a lot of the norm to follow this dream and we have not done things the easy way a lot of the time. So over the past few years I would have melt down weeks, weeks where I just couldn't see the good and it was just harder to hold on to the truth. So my sweet dear husband who is completely faithful to trying to understand me and to listen and to try to fix things got to the point where there was nothing left to say...he had talked me through every angle and it just didn't help BUT then one evening I came home to this song and let me tell you that moment was like none other. To sit in my living room and to be touched to the very core of my heart mind and soul by the gift that my husband has been given to relate the whispers of God and his own feelings through song. This song gave my heart peace when words couldn't, this song has given me tears of motivation over and over in this last leg of the race and I can't wait for you to all hear it but read it with me now and praise God with me now as I can say I am laughing in delight at what is behind us and have laughter for the days to come because God is faithful!!! Thank you my dear sweet husband for being faithful to your gift and to listening to the words of our God - you are my most precious gift. And I think a lot of you need to just hear someone say "Baby hold on..." find peace in the FACT that God is saying it to us all.

Baby Hold On
Music & Lyrics by Jerod Starkey
For Elaine 1 / 30 / 2007


You’ve felt this strain for a long time now
Escape from the pain is always on your mind

And I don’t know what to say to you anymore
And I know you’ve heard these words before


Baby hold on a little while longer
You’re gonna make it through
Baby hold on and one day soon
You’ll laugh at what’s behind you


I know you’re thinking ‘It’s not supposed to be this way’
It’s been so long you’ve forgotten why you’re waiting anyway

Sometimes we have to hold on to things we can’t see
‘Cause it makes us the people we’re supposed to be


Baby hold on a little while longer
You’re gonna make it through
Baby hold on and one day soon
You’ll laugh at what’s behind you


Oh maybe one day there will come a time
When you have no worries on your mind

© 2007/2008 Britches Publishing

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Loyal to what...and by the way 10 DAYS!!!!!!!!!

Just a thought for the day...
Loyal: unswerving in allegiance, faithful to
Faithful: steadfast in affection or allegiance
(Definitions provided by Webster Dictionary)

"Your loyal heart is the only part of His expansion plan that He will not provide" - Bruce Wilkinson

This made me really stop and think...what am I loyal to? Am I truly committing a loyal heart to God's plan? Do I have a unswerving allegiance and steadfast affection for God? Do I approach each day with my heart held out to God saying here you go? -- I trust you completely that you will do nothing but lead me in a way that is in love and I believe that perfect love defeats fear - can you imagine the freedom that would come from a completely devoted and loyal heart?

So any biggest loser watchers out there? Jerod and I were catching up on some TiVo last night and we watched the last two weeks episodes of The Biggest Loser. I cried. We really like this show - as far as reality shows go this is the only one that has gotten us roped in - there is nothing like getting to watch people decide they are going to get it...they are going to do what they have believed for so long is impossible and then work like crazy. The thing I like about it too is I feel like they set them up to be able to remain successful even when the pressure is gone and most of their follow up shows seem to prove this to be true for a majority of past contestants.
I want to be motivated to work out just on a regular basis- and I think a little competition would be good for me. I am just slightly competitive (wink wink)...but if I had a group of girls that were all wanting to get healthier and we had little contests going and prizes I think I would do great. Maybe for example whoever gets in the gym four times a week for no less than 45 minutes gets taken out to dinner by the rest of the girls. (Healthy place of course - or maybe we could even get mean and that girl gets to splurge on one item and the rest have to watch or the winner can choose to share - that sounds like how a show would do it - right?)

Oh well ... I guess I should go work, but I had to post and give my countdown shout out...I can't believe it is only ten days away...God is so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Countdown begins...12 days

ANYONE AND EVERYONE IS WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join us for the CD Release Party for "Driven" by Jerod Starkey at the Lakewood Theatre on Sunday, January 27th at 6pm. Admission is free, so invite friends and family for an incredible performance. Doors open at 6pm and the concert will start at 6:30pm. For more information call 214.319.6020.
Lakewood Theatre - 1825 Abrams Parkway - Dallas, TX 75214

Thursday, January 10, 2008


I had the most amazing revelation the other day...

I woke up on Tuesday morning giddy, just really happy, that kind of happy where you realize you are smiling a lot because your cheeks start to hurt. I sat down on our couch to pray and work on my Bible study - but I was so excited that I couldn't even put into words to God what I was so joyful and delighted about. I just kept saying thank you thank you and the verse that came to mind was:
"And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weaknesses; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27

This verse has always meant to me in my head...when you are so stressed out, when things are so out of control, when I feel so lost, Jesus intercedes on my behalf my petitions, concerns and requests. In a moment I realized that Jesus intercedes on my behalf in praise too. And WOW - how I love that so much more. I wanted to just jump up and down.

What are the circumstances behind all this you ask - well I know they are rooted in the pride I have in Jerod right now. Eight years ago we started talking about him creating a CD of his own music and after many many ups and downs the calling never changed and God has seen it through and the CD Release Party is in less than three weeks. I am delighted in the faithfulness of God - I am delighted in the determination and the incredible work my Jerod has done - I am delighted that in three weeks I get to see my husband do something I have never seen before like this- I am delighted that God's grace is big enough that I am just delighted right now and not scolding myself for the unbelief and lack of hope I had at moments along the way to here. I am delighted that God is good and gracious and still works things out for good when I am not perfect. I am so glad that He requires obedience and not perfection. I am delighted that I am starting to understand that concept in just baby steps right now, but He is walking with me to know that for life.

So being in this state of mind and heart has then made me do somethings this week that have just made it all fun too. Like Sunday, I took the time to light every candle in the house and open all the windows and take the time to notice the circulation of the air through our house - to see a flicker of the candle and it make me happy. I know it's weird but I was living in that very moment not distracted by thoughts of anything other than exactly what I was taking in that moment. Then Jerod came home and we made up games in the backyard with a football and then we did cartwheels in the yard that night. I know - crazy - yes a little bit but it was good. And sometimes doing stupid things are good for our soul. But just wait the night gets weirder - long story short - I had never wrapped a house, I asked Jerod if he would take me, and we went and wrapped our best friend's house who lives a street over from us. I only had one roll of paper so it was nothing destructive at all but it was great! WE laughed for hours when we got home.

See we just got their light post and one big strand in one of their big trees ( so it really wasn't mean). Thanks Tyler and Evie for letting me use you to get my kicks :) I highly recommend doing something wierd this week, do something that seems ridiculus and too childish for where you are in life - the laughs and the smiles are so freeing.
Here are some other things over the past couple of weeks that have made me smile...

Jerod - He just makes me smile - His determination to love me - He had dinner waiting for me at home (w/ dessert) on Monday so I could eat before going to my Bible Study - He loves to talk to me and he has been so transaparent with me through life and at moments like this I am so thankful for them because I get to watch him grow and it makes me love him so much - And guys this man is working so hard and pushing forward and he is about to finish one of the biggest races of his life and it is the spectacular race I have watched with him so far and I can't wait!!

These girls - my five college roommates - we had our monthly phone conference last night and it always makes me so happy to realize how lucky we are to have each other. We are all so perfectly different that it works and it is great to grow up together.

Work this week has been great too...I don't have a picture for that...but I have been busy, I have learned more this week than I have in the six months I have been in this position and I can say that I have been glad to be there.

So there you go...that is me today. I am smiling.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Who's in Control?

Well here it is three days into 2008, and I have that overwhelming sinking feeling that every controlling perfectionist has I think at this time of year. Being a child of God and being a controller just don't go together well and I think this time of year of resolutions and reflections tend to stir that contradiction inside of me and humble me. As I try to join in with the rest of the world making resolutions and goals for the new year, I am so graciously reminded that I don't have to do that the same way...because I have a chance for a new beginning in any moment that I decide to ask for it BUT I have to take that opportunity. And over the last few days God has been working at my heart and mind trying to so lovingly tell me that I need to just stop...I can't control life, I can't control circumstances, I can't protect everyone, I can't. But oh how I try and God has shown me that in my attempts I live in a false reality (not to mention take away His role as GOD). I don't experience life and feelings and faith the way He intends for His children to believe and hope. I hurt others and rob them of being all of who they can be because I have things resolved in my way before they could even be afforeded the opportunity to be involved much less possibly have a better way than mine. So my greatest desire for 2008 is not to make a list or a plan of action for this year, instead I hope to let God control more and I hope for an overwhelming since of rest and release. I want to enjoy and I want to dwell in the truth that "Apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5) I want to live like I really really believe these words. Lord please help me!! Help me not be apart from you...My spirit is aching to slow down, to absorb and to runneth over, to find as much satisfaction in reading your word as accomplishing a weeks to do list in one day, to feel unexplainable joy, to cry and laugh with those around me, to live in obedience and leave the consequences up to you without needing to know before hand.

I post this because I am asking that those of you reading who know me well and are around me a lot...when you see me planning, controlling (which often surfaces as thinking too much) I beg that you ask me who is in control?

Sorry so serious, I promise the next post will not be this serious. I really hope that everyone had a great holiday season and is as excited about all the unknown and hopeful things for 2008!!!