It is weird to post pictures of your growing self on a blog. I know that it is the thing I go and check for everyday when my friends are pregnat, but it is weird to do it for yourself. So here is a picture I had Jerod take the other morning - meet baby Starkey - growing, moving, and changing me every day more and more.
This was not the best picture (faceless and me sassy w/ the hand on the hip) but you can see the bump...being pregnant has proven to be the weirdest experience of my life to date...
I can seriously be happier than ever in one moment, I mean a happiness I can't really explain - elated, and then an hour later sobbing on the couch feeling like everything is wrong and being so overwhelmed with the rawest emotions. Usually these come and go in fleeting moments, but this past weekend it set in for a couple of days. My sweet husband was so very patient with me and just hugged me and didn't try to "fix" it - one huge " THANK YOU GOD!" for a man who is willing to just listen and hug. Thank you for a dear friend, a mom of two, who told me it is normal. I needed to hear that too. There is a lot of guilt associated with those down moments b/c I kick myself saying you should only be elated.
Other weird things...coming home from work and not being able to decide between pancakes, fried rice or french fries so indulging in a combo meal at home that you can't get anywhere else.
...coming home from work and wanting to do nothing but clean the house and organize- I realized last night as I was vacuuming that there were a few big chores that if I don't do in the next couple of months, I won't be able to do them myself b/c bending over and cleaning or organizing on your hands and knees may prove to be a new challenge. And my inspiration for organizing was the January issue of Better Homes and Garden...the closets and drawers in that magazine made me so envious.
...eating dinner at 5:30 and then falling asleep by accident and waking up at 10 - then not being able to actually go to bed - this is happening less and less, but sleep is all kinds of out of whack - now more so due to the unscheduled pee breaks at 3 and 5 am. It's clockwork this week.
Next Tuesday is the big doctor appointment, everyone pray with us that little one is healthy and growing just perfectly, that little one cooperates and lets us see all the necessary parts so we know what it is, and praise with us that we get to see him/her. Technology is amazing!!! I can't wait to visually get to know him/her better next week. Oh I can't wait!!!