Monday, March 30, 2009

Life Today

Today I sit having way too much to catch up on because I have been a non existent blogger. Today I sit a little overwhelmed with life as it is today. Today I sit completely thankful for so many wonderful friends and family. Today I sit completely in love with this man I get to call husband and soon dad (well actually Pa - that's what he wants to be called). Today I realize how incredibly blessed I am to have lived the life I have, to have this life inside of me and to have so much to look forward to and knowing I have so many people to live it with.

I will do some catching up through pictures -

Miss Cana's Room...

On Saturday, we hosted a shower for Evie and Baby Pippa. My mom came and stayed the weekend helping me with Evie's shower and then was here for my shower at Evie's house on Sunday.

Jerod and I got to go and meet Baby Mack Sullivan Kurth this weekend. Our friends Nick and Lendy had Mack last weekend and he is beautiful! Doesn't Jerod look like a natural and completely ready to have his own? I can't wait to see him holding our own little baby girl.

Below is a shot that I should probably not even post b/c geez I look big - but I think it is funny...Baby Pippa and Baby Cana have grown together now for months and I just can't wait to see them together - outside of us!

Evie hosted a beautiful shower for me at her house on Sunday with an amazing spread of all my favorites right now including strawberry shortcake!!!

Cana received so much stuff was kind of cracking me up how I didn't have any lap space to open presents- Everyday I find something new that has become more difficult to do thanks to the growing stomach. I was a little overwhelmed when I got home realizing that all this stuff was for OUR baby - I have spent years buying baby gifts for friends it is completely exciting and scary to be opening these gifts for us to use. Mom spent a couple of hours once we got back helping me clean out closets and cabinets so I could breathe again normally and stop freaking out that there would be no room for all of her stuff.
I am 32 weeks pregnant now and I am so ready to meet our little girl. Being pregnant has been the most all inclusive experience I have ever been through. There is not a part of me that has not been touched and effected by this growing life inside of me that God decided we were ready for. The most important things at this point that I attribute learning to this season of life are these:
1- God determines when we are ready for things in life - not us and that He makes us ready- I can never make myself "ready" for what God has, but I can allow God to work on me and I can accept the grace that allows us to all move forward.
2- Life is day by day - when God is in control there is nothing more "to do" than to live each day for exactly what that day is and requires. I have never been in such a place where the future is all question marks and been so peaceful because no matter how I look at it - I really can't do anything about the unknown and unforseen coming except to live today the best I can and enjoy it.
3- I love my husband and what we have more than anything in the world. He has been amazing during this time - he has been honest and real through the months. He has embraced his new calling with courage and he is going to continue to be the most incredible husband and will be an amazing dad. I can not lie - I am mourning the ease with which we have had so much fun and done some crazy things over the last six years - what I wouldn't give for one more trip to the beach just us, but I do believe and know with all my heart we are about to fall in love in a whole new way and the love we will share with this little girl will help us fly into our future.
4- I have learned to accept and appreciate help in a whole new way. I have always been a very independent person and find a lot of my identity in being self sufficient and being able to do everything. It has been one of the sweetest things to let people help me and it has also changed my heart in a way about helping others. I am a little ashamed to admit how I have realized that not accepting help in the past has made me have too high of expectations on others and have ignored many opportunities to help others.
So now that I have written way more than I intended to right now - I will end this with a thank you to all of you who were involved in making this weekend happen. The shower on Sunday was amazing and I really felt so loved. I know that Jerod and I will make it through the next few months because we have such wonderful family and friends.


Jenny said...

#4 is relly interesting and something I can totally relate to. I haven't figured out a way to fix it. Thanks for the perspective. Good luck in the coming weeks. I'm so excited for you guys!

EAJan678 said...

Do my eyes deceive me? Am I seriously looking at a post on your blog. It's the year 2009! I never thought this would happen. I now will re-start the torment of checking your blog daily only to be disappointed for another 90 days straight. Here's hoping Cana's arrival will be before 90 days and will be something you'll post about :)

So happy that you felt loved and celebrated at the shower this weekend. So wish I could've been there, but I do think I'm planning a trip for this girls arrival!

Love you and miss you dearly! And yes the angle of that photo does not please Cana's figure; however, your front view you can't even tell she's there! You are a lucky soul!!

Jerod Starkey said...

Hey. Pa here.
I agree with Ashley --- glad that you're back to bloggin' some. I'm proud of you...if only for carrying my daughter this long inside of you. That's a job in itself.
Love you.

daisy tiff said...

Oh Cana's room is just beautiful. You're right - she will transform your life and love as a couple in the most amazing ways -- with God in the lead, it's a fabulous journey into parenthood! Love to you!