Thursday, January 10, 2008


I had the most amazing revelation the other day...

I woke up on Tuesday morning giddy, just really happy, that kind of happy where you realize you are smiling a lot because your cheeks start to hurt. I sat down on our couch to pray and work on my Bible study - but I was so excited that I couldn't even put into words to God what I was so joyful and delighted about. I just kept saying thank you thank you and the verse that came to mind was:
"And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weaknesses; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27

This verse has always meant to me in my head...when you are so stressed out, when things are so out of control, when I feel so lost, Jesus intercedes on my behalf my petitions, concerns and requests. In a moment I realized that Jesus intercedes on my behalf in praise too. And WOW - how I love that so much more. I wanted to just jump up and down.

What are the circumstances behind all this you ask - well I know they are rooted in the pride I have in Jerod right now. Eight years ago we started talking about him creating a CD of his own music and after many many ups and downs the calling never changed and God has seen it through and the CD Release Party is in less than three weeks. I am delighted in the faithfulness of God - I am delighted in the determination and the incredible work my Jerod has done - I am delighted that in three weeks I get to see my husband do something I have never seen before like this- I am delighted that God's grace is big enough that I am just delighted right now and not scolding myself for the unbelief and lack of hope I had at moments along the way to here. I am delighted that God is good and gracious and still works things out for good when I am not perfect. I am so glad that He requires obedience and not perfection. I am delighted that I am starting to understand that concept in just baby steps right now, but He is walking with me to know that for life.

So being in this state of mind and heart has then made me do somethings this week that have just made it all fun too. Like Sunday, I took the time to light every candle in the house and open all the windows and take the time to notice the circulation of the air through our house - to see a flicker of the candle and it make me happy. I know it's weird but I was living in that very moment not distracted by thoughts of anything other than exactly what I was taking in that moment. Then Jerod came home and we made up games in the backyard with a football and then we did cartwheels in the yard that night. I know - crazy - yes a little bit but it was good. And sometimes doing stupid things are good for our soul. But just wait the night gets weirder - long story short - I had never wrapped a house, I asked Jerod if he would take me, and we went and wrapped our best friend's house who lives a street over from us. I only had one roll of paper so it was nothing destructive at all but it was great! WE laughed for hours when we got home.

See we just got their light post and one big strand in one of their big trees ( so it really wasn't mean). Thanks Tyler and Evie for letting me use you to get my kicks :) I highly recommend doing something wierd this week, do something that seems ridiculus and too childish for where you are in life - the laughs and the smiles are so freeing.
Here are some other things over the past couple of weeks that have made me smile...

Jerod - He just makes me smile - His determination to love me - He had dinner waiting for me at home (w/ dessert) on Monday so I could eat before going to my Bible Study - He loves to talk to me and he has been so transaparent with me through life and at moments like this I am so thankful for them because I get to watch him grow and it makes me love him so much - And guys this man is working so hard and pushing forward and he is about to finish one of the biggest races of his life and it is the spectacular race I have watched with him so far and I can't wait!!

These girls - my five college roommates - we had our monthly phone conference last night and it always makes me so happy to realize how lucky we are to have each other. We are all so perfectly different that it works and it is great to grow up together.

Work this week has been great too...I don't have a picture for that...but I have been busy, I have learned more this week than I have in the six months I have been in this position and I can say that I have been glad to be there.

So there you go...that is me today. I am smiling.


Jerod Starkey said...

I love you, too.

EAJan678 said...

I'm glad you are so smiley :) Love you and miss you tonz...One Question - any word on our prints from that photo shoot or are you thinking you'll just bring them to the next reunion :)

Kristen said...

just have to say that ashley's question made me laugh out loud. funny.